Purification

In my favorite place. Late into the night, house is quiet, everyone is asleep, by the fireplace, with my Jesus. My bed beckons me but my heart is drawn to sit at His feet. Where would I be without Him?

This morning after getting ready, I had a little time before work so I stopped by Starbucks to get a coffee and read. I think for the first time in my life I was moved by the fact that I had my own copy of the Bible to carry with me and read at any time. Thoughts of how there are still those today in the world that cannot have their own Bible because of the persecution of Christianity or just not available for whatever reason.

Sometimes I feel like a five year old because of all my questions I daily ask God - My life has become a passionate quest of searching and seeking truth and holiness in His Word...in knowing Him. And I think again - what a comfort He has brought to my heart through His Word. I'm so thankful for the Holy Spirit who guides and directs me through the Scriptures.

Purification has been the theme of my life this last year, and especially in the last couple months. Some people say "be careful how you pray, because if you pray for patience, there will be trials." I've prayed for purity. A desperate prayer for purity. I have chosen wrong roads in life that took me away from Him and I don't want that - I don't want the brokenness it brings. I want to be whole. I want to show others how to experience the freedom and fulfillment that only Christ can bring.

I have found that the prayer for purity is one of the most "dangerous prayers" - the transformational process that comes as the answer to that plea is painful. There are days when I feel absolutely ugly as I see my faults, wrong attitudes and many short-comings. Its disgusting. The thing that keeps my crying out for this purification is His mercy and love that overwhelms my ugliness. His love is what changes me. His forgiveness is what keeps drawing me back to Him, knowing despite how ugly I was, there's a place for me in His arms.

The more I find my place in His arms, the more my life is transformed. The more I am transformed, the more I long for Him. I can't imagine life without Him. My life is not my own and for the rest of my life I expect this purification process to go on. I'm thankful He's patient, because I need Him.